I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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