You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
