Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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