She said her name was "party"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
