you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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