From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
