Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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