I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
