Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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