Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
