just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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