At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
