I cockslap morals
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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