We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
