end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
