ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
