I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
