a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize