She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
