I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Enjoy the penises
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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