went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
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She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
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I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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