Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
