Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
