the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
