dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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