your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
