How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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