she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize