I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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