does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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