I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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