don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
