my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
false alarm, still single
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
