Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm both gender and math confused
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