Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
