Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
