I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
