and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
