There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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