And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
