Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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