So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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