all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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