Welp...herpes.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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