wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize