Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
