Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
