Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
