Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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