She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
