She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think I am morally bankrupt
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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