Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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