I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You left your phone here
Wait...
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