We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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