Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
