He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
