just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
