sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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