I heard we made out
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
