It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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