Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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