..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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