Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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