Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
