why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize