I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize