Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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