I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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