we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
