there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
