in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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