Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
