don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
