True but thats because hes a fetus.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
