whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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